SHITTER SHOES. 9.23.06
I learned a valuable fashion lesson today, and I'd like to thank my ghetto fabulous co-worker for bringing it to light.
You see, my co-worker Leon (he prefers to be called Leno Grigio, "like the wine") showed up today donning a pair of $280 Donald J. Pliner dress shoes... in pumpkin orange. I suppose I would have inquired about the shoes on my own eventually, but this of course wouldn't do for Leon. We all had to gather 'round, as he told the tale of how he ordered them online after he got his bonus check. The story was actually a little better than I'm making it out to be, considering all his pimp poses, and interjections like "blazzzooowwww".
At any rate, we all had to deal with Leon's heavy coating of braggadocio from minute one until lunch time. I had Panera®; Leon had a burrito from the local bodega.
Forty-five minutes later, Dave and I strolled into the bathroom to discuss who we were going to fire next, only to find that the smells and sounds emanating from the third stall were beyond appalling. Naturally, we wanted only to get the hell out of there and leave the poor sap alone to wallow in his own diarrhea, until Dave proclaimed, "check out the shoes."
Pumpkin fucking orange.
Suffice it to say, we gathered some of the troops, and spent a good fifteen minutes rooting Leno Grigio on, applauding whenever he really let one loose, and tossing digestive aids over the stall door... all of which led Leon to eventually reply with a defeated "fuck all ya'll."
And so my friends, the lesson is to choose only one guilty pleasure per day: expensive orange shoes, or homemade burritos.