PICK A MORON AND PULL THE LEVER. 11.1.06
This is the last time I'm going to tell you people: I don't vote. Don't ask me if I'm going to vote, or who I'm going to vote for, because I don't care who's running, what their platforms supposedly are, or what they say they're going to do for our country. Politics is well-financed bullshit. I roll with philosophy and logic; everything else is old ladies gossiping over tea.
Now don't get me wrong... well actually, you can get me wrong if you like, I really don't give a fuck either way. I appreciate the value of democracy. It's vital to have at least two vapid carcasses competing for the acceptance of the public if we're going to keep our nation on the level. But the simple fact is that, as one person with one vote, I hold no value and have no control over my country's future. Worse than that, where the control actually lies is in the hands of closed-minded jackasses with personal agendas. And who might they be, you inquire?
- The toothless rednecks who make up the majority of the U.S.: "We votes cuz it make us feel impo'tent. But we don't votes fuh no yella-belly, college-ejumecated northerner, as a matter'uh principle."
- Bible-toting lobbyists: "We know our opinions and beliefs have no place in government, but... oh my, what's this? Why it's a large suitcase full of money!"
- Decrepit senior citizens: "Everything seems difficult and confusing to me now that I'm no longer useful in society. But, rather than accept it, I prefer to complain and ruin everyone else's lives."
Politicians know these are the only people who matter. So the candidates cater to these groups, and next thing you know, you've got another numbskull who shmoozed his way into office, regardless of the effort made by you and your intelligent counterparts at the polls. As long as you've got ambivalent schmucks running for office, playing this same game, voting is useless.
I'll tell you what would make me get out there to vote. If the two heavyweight candidates on the card were a super-smart chimp and a convicted child molester, that's when you'd see me casting my ballot. Not sure which one... guess it depends on the chimp's foreign policy... but that would be an election worth contributing to.