GIRLFRIEND TESTER: "FUNNY GAMES". 5.22.06
I'm a guy. I know that when most guys watch movies with a date, they instinctively pluck from the shelf whatever movie they feel gives them the best chance at getting some action afterwards. Well, that's just too much of a cop-out as far as I'm concerned. I prefer to show the little-known Funny Games, an independent German film with subtitles. It's the ultimate test of any girlfriend, boasting three of the film elements chicks hate most: horrific violence, unsatisfactory endings, and huge bouts of inactivity.
Let's meet the characters: Anna, Georg, Paul, Peter, and li'l Schorschi. What we're basically looking at here is a family on vacation who finds themselves terrorized and tortured by a couple of young, preppy nihilists. The villains' approach is frighteningly (or laughably) indifferent and whimsical, though it is apparent that they have a perfectly organized agenda.
There is actually very little onscreen violence to speak of. The horror is instead developed through character reaction, and the seemingly irreverent commentary of the villains. In other words, you have to pay attention to feel the suspsense.
The film's philosophy sneaks into your living room every once in a while, as the villains make indirect comments to the audience, and conjecture that the movie isn't going as well as they've intended. I'm usually not a fan of breaking the fourth wall in movies, but then, that's part of the concept behind Funny Games. At least, I think it is.
Nothing will expose your date's pathetic mainstream tendencies better than Funny Games; sit through this, and you'll instantly know all you need to know about why her last boyfriend dumped her. More importantly, if you can still manage to get some lovin' after the two of you have seen this movie, then you, my friend, are a charmer of Benny Hill-esque proportions.