THAT RHYMES, AND IT IS A CRIME. 6.2.06
If modern-day song lyrics were my only son, I'd sell him to a chinese couple for a bag of those little round cheeses. Screw it, I'd settle for a half-eaten Kraft® slice.
What happened to all the people who knew how to write lyrics? Did they all commit seppuku in '71? Shouldn't there be some kind of Lyric Police out there, to protect innocent civilians from the likes of Staind? You know, garbage like this:
It's been a while
Since I could say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been a while
Since I could say I love myself as well
And it's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you
Wait, it's been a while since you fucked something up, which is what you always do, but now you're doing it again? And what is this shit that disappears? All the preceding lyrics are positive, as if you're getting your life together again. That's what disappears? Who's doing the what now? And let's not forget that the accompanying video to this song shows whatever-his-name-is sitting on his couch with a guitar and a candle, pensively reflecting and then leaning over to his notepad to jot down the aforementioned sludge.
It's a reflection of the times, I suppose. Nobody's doing any philosophizing or politicing in popular music, and if they are, they're doing it in true new millenium fashion: reading one schmuck's anti-Bush blog entry and taking it as gospel. The best part is that you people gobble it up, apparently because the facets of your existence are so unoriginal and contrived that they can be accurately represented by whatever Ashlee Simpson song has the best sound effects. I guess it's the same reason people go to a psychic and come away thinking they learned something about their lives. Yeah, you learned that carnie folk can take a wild guess at everything you stand for just by looking at your shoes, and come pretty close to getting it right.
Part of the problem is that everyone thinks lyrics have to rhyme. I mean, god forbid we do anything unexpected here. You can only say so many things when your first line ends in "love"; we already know the next line is going to end in "above", or "thinking of", or maybe even "enough" if you are feeling adventurous. Howsabout some more challenging fare? Bands like Tool use lyrics to communicate thoughts, not to play nursery rhyme games. Seems like a reasonable approach, don't you think? Isn't that what you're supposed to do as a lyricist? If it happens to rhyme, well hey, all the better. But you can't possibly be saying all that you want to say if you're limiting yourself to basic rhymes. We've got a whole language to work with here people; instead of trudging through song after song with a 3rd grader's literary repertoire:
- alone / on my own
- free / me / be / see
- tell me why / make me cry
Why not do something to stand out, to be original, to show that you didn't just pick your verses out of RCA's generic lyrics bin? And shit, if you have some kind of phobia about not rhyming, then at least be a little creative:
- xylophone / garden gnome
- three-toed sloth / David Lee Roth
- belt sander / oleander
See, it's really not difficult at all... and much more entertaining. If only PeeWee's Playhouse or G.I. Joe had done a segment about the importance of writing good lyrics, maybe my generation would be a bit more savvy with the tongue.