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CHILD CELEBRITIES 2.0.  8.14.06

If there's anything we can say in confidence about the "new" Internet, it's that blogs are making celebrities out of people who would be assuredly non-famous otherwise (see: cuttingwithwater.com). However, a lot of these people utilize their blogs as if it were still 1997, when the only people who read your website were your eccentric Uncle Gene and your nerdy college roomate.

I'm speaking in particular about posting photos and stories of your kids. Of course, I can see why any proud, lovestruck parent would do such things. But a child doesn't stay three years old forever, and your publicized content doesn't disintegrate off someone's hard drive just because you decide one day that you don't want anyone to have pictures of your kid anymore.

Eventually, that child is going to grow up, and will have to deal with the fact that thousands of schmucks with Internet access could have had intimate knowledge of them during their childhood years. Might that become a problem? Celebrities' children seem to turn out psychologically impaired more often than not; granted, it's probably due more to their inherited fortunes and drug problems, which isn't necessarily an issue for the children of famous bloggers.

All I know is, if I were one of these bloggers' kids in 2018, I'd have a big-ass bone to pick with my parents about the fact that I could very well go on a first date with a boy and hear him say, "you know what my favorite story is about you? That time when you were six and you shat your pants, and then dumped the contents into your dog's food dish and tried to say that he did it."

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